My Perimenopause Story; What Nobody Warned Me About and How I Am Managing It
Hi, my name is April. I am 43 years old. And this is my perimenopause story.
I am sharing this because I know how lonely and confusing this season can feel. When your body starts changing in ways nobody prepared you for, when you are searching for answers and not finding them, when you wonder if what you are experiencing is normal, I want you to know you are not alone.
I am a weight loss coach. I help women lose weight and build healthy, sustainable lifestyles. But today, this post is not about weight loss. It is about something far more personal. It is about what happens when your own body starts doing things you do not recognise, and learning to navigate that with grace.
It started before I turned 40
The first signs came quietly. Before I even hit 40, I started noticing something was different.
The first thing I noticed was my periods. They became irregular. Sometimes I would go a full month without one. Other times, I would bleed for far longer than normal. The first time it happened, I was honestly scared. I thought I was pregnant. I went to my GP, had tests run, and eventually understood what was actually happening.
That was my first real encounter with perimenopause.
And then I turned 40. And the symptoms became impossible to ignore.
The symptoms I did not expect
Brain fog and headaches
This one hit me hard. I would wake up for three days straight with headaches that had nothing to do with hydration, nothing to do with sleep, nothing to do with stress. Just headaches from what I can only describe as the pit of hell. I would literally be holding my head in the morning.
What helped me was reducing the amount of light I was exposed to. In my gym, I started switching off extra lights and working out with dimmer lighting. My husband would also put on the dark blinds, just to reduce light coming in. Working out in that softer environment has made a significant difference. And drinking at least three litres of water every day also helped reduce the frequency of my headaches.
Mood swings
I was not even the one who noticed this first. It was my husband.
He kept asking me if I was okay. Why was I quiet? Why was I moody? Was everything alright? And I did not always have an answer because I did not always understand why I felt the way I felt.
What has also helped is using a period tracking app. It is not 100% accurate, but it gives me a general sense of what to expect before my period, after, and in between. Understanding the pattern has helped me give myself more grace on the harder days and communicate better with the people around me.
Forgetfulness
Oh goodness. This one.
I will walk upstairs with a clear purpose. By the time I get there, I cannot for the life of me remember what I came for. I think I have replied to a message and then realise I never actually did. My kids will remind me of something I promised to do, and I genuinely have no memory of it..
General body aches and heaviness
This is the one that is hardest to explain.
I am a fitness coach. I live an active lifestyle. I work out every single day. So I know the difference between the aches that come from a hard workout and the aches that come from nowhere.
This is the nowhere kind. A heaviness that settles into your body without explanation. The first time I truly felt it, I went to do jump rope, and I just felt so heavy lifting myself. Like my body had doubled in size overnight. And the inflammation — there was a night I went to take a bath and noticed my feet were swollen. I took a picture because I genuinely could not believe it.
I also want to say this: experience gave me a deep, new empathy for women who are overweight. That heaviness I feel occasionally is something they carry every single day. The fatigue. The effort it takes just to move. It is unexplainable until you have felt it. And it reminded me why the work I do matters so much.
What nobody tells you about perimenopause
The first time I mentioned perimenopause publicly, someone asked me, sorry, what age does it start?
And the honest answer is, we do not know. There is no set age.
I have a client who reached full menopause at 35. Not perimenopause. Actual menopause at 35 years old. And I have another client who is 58 and has no symptoms whatsoever. Every woman’s experience is completely different, and that is exactly why we need to talk about it more openly.
Because the silence is not helping anyone.
How I am managing it
I want to be honest. I am still figuring this out. But here is what has been helping me.
Giving myself grace. I have completely changed my relationship with my workouts. I no longer push my body to its limits every single day. On days when I feel strong, I train hard. On days when my body is telling me to slow down, I slow down. I have learned to listen to what my body actually needs rather than what my old routine demands.
Simplifying my movement. High-intensity every day is no longer the goal. Rest is part of the plan. And I am genuinely learning to enjoy it; audiobooks, reading, documentaries, time to simply sit and breathe. My body is telling me to take a chill pill, and for the first time in my life, I am actually listening.
Cutting out processed food. This has been non-negotiable for me because of the bloating. The bloating from perimenopause is something else entirely. I can wake up feeling flat and by the afternoon look four months pregnant. No jokes. And processed food makes it dramatically worse. Eliminating it has made a visible difference.
Staying hydrated. Three litres of water every single day. It helps with cravings. It reduces my headaches. It helps my body regulate itself. I cannot overstate how much this simple habit matters.
Prioritising rest and me time. I am the best version of myself, the best wife, the best mum, and the best coach when I am well rested and properly taken care of. So me time is not a luxury anymore. It is a necessity. And I refuse to feel guilty about that.
One final thing
I am actually writing a book about this. Documenting everything: the symptoms, the madness, the lessons, the growth. I cannot wait for it to be published.
But until then, I just want every woman reading this to know, if you are in this season and feeling confused, overwhelmed, or like your body has suddenly become a stranger to you, you are not alone. What you are experiencing is real. And you do not have to white-knuckle your way through it.
Give yourself grace. Do the research. Build a support system. Listen to your body. And above all, take care of yourself now, before your body demands it.
You are worth that investment. 💛
If you can relate to anything in this post, or you are navigating perimenopause and want support with your weight, energy, and hormones. I would love to hear from you.
